Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari Abdul-Razacq

Question: I would like some help inshaAllah. I attend Islamic courses and feel my imaan is boosted after. But then I cannot maintain this afterwards.

I feel depressed about my life situation such as unemployment and loneliness due to not being able to find a spouse and this gets me down even further. I feel alone and don’t feel that connection even when I pray. I want to read Quran and find solace but something holds me back, I feel too depressed to do so.

Also I would like to add that even though I wish to get married, a part of me is terrified that I will be in an abusive marriage, as I’ve seen the harms caused in such marriages.

Please advise as to what I can do.

Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds. May the peace and blessings of Allah descend on the Prophet Muhammad, his family, his companions, and all who follow them.

Dear Questioner,

Assalamu alaikum,

Thank you for writing to us. I pray you are in good health and iman.

Allah the Exalted says, “When My servants ask thee concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on Me: Let them also, with a will, Listen to My call, and believe in Me: That they may walk in the right way.” (Al-Baqarah, 2:186)

A few days ago, I had the pleasure of listening to Dr. Mona Hassan who reminded us of this beautiful ayah of the Qur’an where God Himself speaks to us, lowly slaves, in the singular, promising us that He will respond to our call. Allah is close and even more so to you, because, as our teachers tell us, He is with the brokenhearted.

Don’t let past negative experiences weigh you down. Have a good opinion of Allah that He will send someone who is gentle and kind.

Resolve to stop feeling down and look at what is right in your life in terms of health, youth, community, family. See how you can be of service to others. Be proactive about finding work. And continuously ask Allah for help in finding a lawful income so you can marry and build a family.

Here are some useful articles from SeekersGuidance:

1. How does one perform the Prayer of Need?

2. Are there any invocations to help me find a job?

3. Difficulty in finding a spouse and losing hope

4. Bringing barakah into one’s wealth and life

May Allah Ta’ala grant you ease,

Zaynab Ansari Abdul-Razacq
June 10, 2011/Rajab 9, 1432

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"Whoever guides someone to goodness will have a similar reward"-- The Prophet (Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him)