Did My Guardian Cause My Regrettable Condition by Cursing Me?


Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam
Question: Assalamu alaikum,
Recently I heard a shaykh say in a talk that “speech is like dua”, so if it is a curse, the effect of it would be like a du’a. When I was growing up, my guardian used to severely curse and beat me on a regular basis. I used to cry to God to take me out of there. I experienced very severe mental and physical abuse. 
I wasn’t allowed to play, have non-school friends, or buy books for pleasure.  I ran away after many years of torturous treatment.

To cope with the bad treatment, I developed a very bad habit.   After 10 years, I still have this problem, but I am trying to fix it.

My question, is it possible that I am cursed for life? I mean most of the time that individual would invoke God’s wrath on me they would say things like May the wrath of God obliterate you, or no individual can stand a human being like you ( paraphrasing ) etc. Partly the curse could be accurate because I did many a bad things and I probably I deserve it. Is there a way to remove these curses?
Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray that you are in the best of health and faith, insha’Allah.
No, you are not cursed.
Have a good opinion of Allah, keep returning to Him in all your affairs, seek out righteous company, attend gatherings of knowledge and remembrance, fill your heart with gratitude and acceptance for the way things are, and strive to become of the most beloved of believers to Him. This is what will change your heart, mind, and soul. What happens is not in your control, yet your response and striving is.
Allah Most High says, “Say: My servants who have wronged yourselves, never despair of God’s mercy. God forgives all sins: He is truly the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful.” [39.53]
Repentance wipes away sins and their traces. After repenting, it is as if you never committed that action. This is the Mercy of our Lord. [see: A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)]
May Allah free your heart of worries, and make you of the foremost of the righteous.
Please see: How Do You Distinguish Between a Test From Allah and Punishment? and: What Are Some Prophetic Supplications That Can Help Me Deal With Trials in My Life? and: The Believer’s Clarity and: Struggling to Have Children: Ten Key Etiquettes of Du’a
And Allah alone gives success.
wassalam,
Tabraze Azam
Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani