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Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: It’s tough to guide family, especially my parents, to the right path. How should I communicate with my family to help them?

I find it hard to memorize Qur’an and to reform my character. What should I do?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for your sincere concern, and guide your family towards a better practice of their deen.

Guiding Parents

“Indeed, [O Muhammad], you do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills. And He is most knowing of the [rightly] guided.” [Qur’an, 28:56]

Most parents do not like being told what to do by their children, and moreover, guidance is up to Allah.

Think of wise and tactful ways to encourage your parents to the deen. Being by improving your own self first. Sometimes, the indirect method is best. Treat them with good character, and make dua for them after every obligatory prayer. Share interesting gems of knowledge with them if they are open to listening. Don’t preach to them because they will probably find it irritating.

If you feel that encouraging them to act of worship will bring about more benefit than harm, then feel free to do so. But if you feel that doing so will cause more harm than benefit, then refrain. If you are unsure, then please perform the Prayer of Guidance and wait for events to unfold before making your decision.

Remember to always treat your parents with compassion and respect. I encourage you to complete The Rights of Parents to teach you more about the rank of parents, even non-practising ones. I pray that Allah softens their hearts and guides them to the deen.

Baby steps

I recommend enrolling in some introductory courses to ensure your acts of worship are sound and valid. Please pick one of the schools of thought for introductory fiqh (Shafi’i Fiqh or Hanafi Fiqh).

Once you have covered that, then complete Essentials of Spirituality: Ghazali’s Beginning of Guidance Explained as a way to help organise your daily life. Continue to complete courses, one at at time, and make continual dua for Allah to help you practice what you learn.

Perform the Prayer of Need and ask Allah to guide your parents, keep you steadfast, and improve your practice of the deen.

Please refer to the following links:

Am I Accountable if My Family Doesn’t Practice Islam?
How to Advise a Non-Practicing Muslim

Wassalam,
Raidah

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Please share this with your family and friends:

"Whoever guides someone to goodness will have a similar reward"-- The Prophet (Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him)