Answered by Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan
Question: Assalam alaykum,
I am divorced now. My marriage lasted 3 years. Allah is my witness, I didn’t want it to end despite the harsh treatment and neglect by my abusive husband. Now I want to leave Islam because I am not 30 yet and my life is already finished. I only through humiliations.
Can you help me?
Answer: Wa alaykum al-Salam
May Allah increase you in faith, patience and steadfastness.
It’s amazing and admirable how much patience you’ve been practicing over the years. The idiom reads that every cloud has a silver lining and I believe your story has a silver lining as well.
Many women are stucked in broken, non-functioning marriages all their lives. Based on your description of your marriage, it was not a pleasant one. Husbands are there to support their wives, spend quality time with them and make them feel important. This is the essence of the Sunnah or the way of the Prophet sallaLlahu alayhi wasallam. He, peace and blessings upon him, had the tightest and most hectic schedule of all men, yet found the time to spend with His family daily. He assisted with household choirs, had moments of laughter with His wives and maintained their chastity.
Seperation should not spell the end of the world for you, it should be seen as a new opportunity for you to find a life partner that will be a true replica of the way of the Messenger sallaLlahu alayhi wasallam. It should be seen as an opportunity for you to find happiness and contentment.
Remember the following:
a) Allah tests those whom He loves
b) Victory was given to the Messenger sallaLlahu alayhi wasallam, after 21 years of struggle.
c) Allah’s promise is that, “Indeed with difficulty comes ease”
d) Never loose hope in the Mercy of Allah.
My final advice is for you to visit your Shaykh if that is possible or any other scholar for that matter. Listen to their advice and never loose hope.
May Allah place contentment in your heart. May He grant you a beautiful spouse that will bring happiness to your life. May He be pleased with and grant you many openings. May all of this happen very soon, Amin.
And Allah knows best
[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan
Shaykh Abdurragmaan received ijazah ’ammah from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.