Can I Say “I Love You” to Someone Before Marrying Him?

Answered by Ustadh Salman Younas

Question: Assalam aleykum

Is it permissible to say “I love you” to someone before being ready to marry him?

Answer: assalamu alaykum

Between individuals who can marry each other (ghayr mahram), such direct expressions of intimacy should be avoided.

As the Qur’an commands, “speak with appropriate speech.” (33:33) It would not considered proper for a man to inform a woman who is not his wife or close relative (mahram) that he loves her. Yes, there is no harm in conveying in an appropriate manner that one likes someone when approaching them for marriage. However, this should be done in a manner that is respectful, dignified, and cuts off any means to fitna.

[Ustadh] Salman Younas

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Salman Younas graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Political Science and Religious Studies. After studying the Islamic sciences online and with local scholars in New York, Ustadh Salman moved to Amman. There he studies Islamic law, legal methodology, belief, hadith methodology, logic, Arabic, and tafsir.