I Abused Someone. How Do I Forgive Myself and Move On?

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question: Assalamu alaykum

Does masturbating whilst fasting during my 60 days expiation break the expiation such that I have to start again?

Answer: Wa ‘alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

I pray you are well.

If the masturbation lead to an ejaculation then the 60 day expiation would need to be started again. This is because the ejaculation invalidates the fast of the day, and that breaks the continuity, which is a condition for the validity of an expiation.

Turn to Allah

If you are struggling with the expiation turn wholehearted to Allah, and ask Him for help. That is the key. Shaykh Ahmad b. Ataʾillah, the great Egyptian saint known for his wise aphorisms, said, ‘No goal you seek through your Lord will come to a halt, and no goal you seek all by yourself will prove easy.’

Ask him for aid, ease, and a solution – especially at the end of a fast when prayers are answered.

May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.

Wassalam,
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 to study and sit at the feet of some of the most erudite scholars of our time.

Over the following eighteen months he studied a traditional curriculum, studying with scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish.

In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years, in Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Theology, Hadith Methodology and Commentary, Shama’il, and Logic with teachers such as Dr Ashraf Muneeb, Dr Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr Mansur Abu Zina amongst others. He was also given two licences of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabr and Shaykh Yahya Qandil.

His true passion, however, arose in the presence of Shaykh Ali Hani, considered by many to be one of the foremost tafsir scholars of our time who provided him with the keys to the vast knowledge of the Quran. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic Sciences, Tafsir, Arabic Grammar, and Rhetoric.

When he finally left Jordan for the UK in 2014, Shaykh Ali gave him his distinct blessing and still recommends students in the UK to seek out Shaykh Abdul-Rahim for Quranic studies. Since his return he has trained as a therapist and has helped a number of people overcome emotional and psychosomatic issues. He is a keen promoter of emotional and mental health.

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"Whoever guides someone to goodness will have a similar reward"-- The Prophet (Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him)