05: Must I marry my cousin?- Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil


In this episode, Ustadha Raidah answers a question from a man who is afraid that his cousin will suffer if he does not marry her, as there is no other suitable match for her. In addition, he is interested in marrying another woman and feels they are a good match for each other.
Ustadha Raidah picks apart the situation and says it’s natural for a person to be attracted to someone new or different. What makes a couple a good match for each other? Is it family values, hobbies, life interests, or goals? She makes it clear that, although one should not immediately rule out someone such a cousin, one should not marry someone out of pity, or out of obligation to make their lives better somehow. Only Allah can destine the good for somebody.
She also observes the dynamics of traditional families that strongly push cousin marriages. These matches may be suitable, or they may not. If a person from that type of family wishes to marry someone out of their families, they should be aware that their spouse may face a lot of difficulty and criticism from the family, and should ensure that they’re prepared for it.
She also recommends the following resource: The Ruling of First Cousin Marriages: A Balanced Perspective.

 

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