10: Marriage and Severed Ties of Kinship- Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil


In this episode, Ustadha Raidah answers a question from a man whose mother, who lives very far away and suffers emotional problems, cut him off, after she was unable to meet the girl he was considering for marriage. Things didn’t work out with her, but his mother still does not answer his calls or messages, and he is wondering whether he needs to seek her approval before marrying.
Ustadha Raidah explains that below angry reactions are deep feelings of shame, guilt, sadness, and other negative emotions, and the mother’s reactions are likely a result of these. She advises the questioner to give his mother a reasonable amount of time before he pursues marriage, as he still has a strong duty to his mother. Additionally, were he to get married, he would be bringing his wife into a toxic environment. She advises him to fly out to where the mother is living, and seek to resolve the situation as best as he possibly can.

 

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