Answered by Sidi Tabraze Azam

Question: I have a twin 1 year old daughter and a son.  They do not get sound sleep. Is there any dua to supplicate on them other than Ayatul Kursi?  And sometimes I loose my temper while putting them to sleep or when they spit food.  Am I allowed to shout at my children.  If not is there any dua to control my temper.  Please help me.

Answer: Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I hope you are in the best of health and spirits insha’Allah. I apologise for the delay in answering your question.

First of all: remember that they are only children. Sometimes there can be specific reasons for children not getting a sound sleep at night; therefore it may be wise to speak with an expert regarding the matter.

Losing one’s temper

With regards to losing one’s temper, Sayyiduna Abu Hurayra narrated that a man came and said to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), “advise me”, the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Don’t get angry”. The man kept seeking advice and the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) responded with “Don’t get angry”.

Look at how the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) gave only one piece of advice which if followed would change people’s lives. Such is the wisdom of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) and the beauty of our religion when followed in love, devotion and worshipfulness.

Remember that they are only children and children cry and spit out food. Don’t let it affect you spiritually, you are mother engaged in a great act of worship, every difficulty you bear, you will be rewarded for in the hereafter.

It has been mentioned that if one does get angry, to sit down if standing up, to lie down if sitting and to make wudu or minimally wash one’s face as anger is a fire which is lessened by water.

Turning to Allah in supplication

“If My slaves ask you about Me, I am near. I answer the call of the caller when he calls on Me.” [2:185] One should have absolute conviction in the words of Allah, Most High remembering that one is engaged in one of the greatest acts of worship in raising pious, righteous children if one makes this their intention.

اللهم إني أسألك من خير ما سألك منه نبيك محمدٌ، صلى الله عليه وسلم؛ وأعوذ بك من شر ما استعاذ منه نبيك محمدٌ، صلى الله عليه وسلم، وأنت المستعان، وعليك البلاغ؛ ولا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله

“O Allah, I ask You for the good for which Your Prophet Muhammad, Allah bless him and give him peace, asked You and I seek refuge from the evil from which Your Prophet Muhammad, Allah bless him and give him peace, sought refuge. You are the One who is asked for help and it is only You who can transmit it. There is no power nor strength except by Allah.”

Consider taking the Parenting course here on Seekers Guidance; seek to become a mother with high resolve and aspiration for her children. With every difficulty comes ease, ponder over the words of the Qur’an, “So truly with hardship comes ease. Truly with hardship comes ease” [94:5-6]. Whenever they cry, remember the blessings of Allah upon one; how many a parent longs for a child but it is not destined for them; “if you are thankful, surely I will increase you” [14:7].

Abu Sa’id and Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “No fatigue, illness, anxiety, sorrow, harm or sadness afflicts any Muslim, even to the extent of a thorn pricking him, without Allah wiping out his mistakes by it.” [Agreed upon]

And Allah alone gives success.

wassalaam,
Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani

Related answers:

A Little Fiqh on Controlling One’s Anger

Is Anger Sinful?

How Do I Deal with Anger?

Anger: How do I cleanse myself?

Prophetic Guidance: On forbearance, patience and kindness

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"Whoever guides someone to goodness will have a similar reward"-- The Prophet (Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him)